Journals2
Newest
11/02/2017
2 min read
i feel really useless and empty lately and i guess its because uni is sucking the life out of me
its not even like im overworking myself, i just feel overwhelmed easily,,,, i took a look at all the pages i have to read for different classes and realized how little i actually understand and then decided to not even try at all
its like this with everything i do; something seems like too big of a challenge and i immediately just put it down
the only thing that makes me feel like i am capable of anything is the book im working on but even that is incredibly frustrating as i get stuck a lot
most days im just sitting at home, staring onto the computer screen onto the pages,,, without managing to actually get something done
luckily enough im familiar with this kind of crappy creative progress and therefore dont get entirely discouraged which is a step in the right direction,,, i need to nudge myself a lot though
the fact that ive been feeling ill for almost a year doesnt really affect all this in a positive manner either and im catching myself kind of dissociating while writing this entry as well,,, its hard to focus and keep my eyes open so im apologizing for any language mistakes in advance, i just dont feel like myself right now
its not even like im overworking myself, i just feel overwhelmed easily,,,, i took a look at all the pages i have to read for different classes and realized how little i actually understand and then decided to not even try at all
its like this with everything i do; something seems like too big of a challenge and i immediately just put it down
the only thing that makes me feel like i am capable of anything is the book im working on but even that is incredibly frustrating as i get stuck a lot
most days im just sitting at home, staring onto the computer screen onto the pages,,, without managing to actually get something done
luckily enough im familiar with this kind of crappy creative progress and therefore dont get entirely discouraged which is a step in the right direction,,, i need to nudge myself a lot though
the fact that ive been feeling ill for almost a year doesnt really affect all this in a positive manner either and im catching myself kind of dissociating while writing this entry as well,,, its hard to focus and keep my eyes open so im apologizing for any language mistakes in advance, i just dont feel like myself right now
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update: 9/24/2017
1 min read
i havent touched my tablet - or even a pencil for that matter - in months but a few days ago i took a break from writing and decided to draw something instead. surprisingly i havent gotten rusty at all and to my delight everything seems to basically bleed from my hands onto the computer screen. makes it easy to draw a lot of stuff in little time without risking it to look shabby.
so yeah i hope to become more active on here again (ive lost count of how often ive said this already in the last few years) and further improve my skills.
uni starts in less than a month so i have no idea how much time there will be left for stuff like this then, but until then ill try to get as much stuff done as i can!
for everyone whos wondering what courses im gonna take: german literature and culture studies are what i signed up for.
i hope everyone who reads this had a great weekend!!
so yeah i hope to become more active on here again (ive lost count of how often ive said this already in the last few years) and further improve my skills.
uni starts in less than a month so i have no idea how much time there will be left for stuff like this then, but until then ill try to get as much stuff done as i can!
for everyone whos wondering what courses im gonna take: german literature and culture studies are what i signed up for.
i hope everyone who reads this had a great weekend!!
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